{"id":320,"date":"2010-09-08T08:55:15","date_gmt":"2010-09-08T05:55:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mehmehs.com\/aliyah\/?p=320"},"modified":"2013-09-11T12:07:17","modified_gmt":"2013-09-11T10:07:17","slug":"how-to-survive-an-israeli-hospital","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mehmehs.com\/aliyah\/how-to-survive-an-israeli-hospital\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Survive an Israeli Hospital"},"content":{"rendered":"

Number of Cockroach Sightings:<\/strong> 0\u00a0 (come on, it’s not that <\/em>bad! Israel is a developed country you know!)<\/p>\n

Number of Schnitzel consumed:<\/strong>\u00a0 5<\/p>\n

Number of\u00a0Nurses spotted\u00a0who have walked straight out of the 1950’s: <\/strong>About 17<\/p>\n

Tzfat hospital.\u00a0 Beautiful mountain views.\u00a0\u00a0My window looked onto the stunning Kinneret.\u00a0 Brand new almost-finished maternity unit.\u00a0 Lovely birthing rooms (not that I got to hang out much in there, shame coz there was a Jacuzzi….)\u00a0\u00a0 Kosher meals 3 times a day.\u00a0 Bliss.<\/p>\n

Well yes all that stuff is great but the problem is the general philosophy of the place is still dreadfully old-fashioned and the nurses must be hideously underpaid as they seemes to suffer the same issues as Israeli waitresses, i.e. they are doing you a favour if they bring you something.\u00a0 Over the course of 3 days I attempted to ask for pain relief (for my frozen shoulder), hot water and perhaps a\u00a0herbal tea-bag for my dreadful cough that was probably driving my poor roommate mad as well as myself, (why do hospitals think that new mothers want to drink caffeinated drinks??!) and various other straightforward things.\u00a0 They were all met with\u00a0a “are you mad” look, and I realised pretty quickly that this was\u00a0 DIY hospital.\u00a0 If you\u00a0ever want to get\u00a0out\u00a0you have to do what you are told and look after yourself.\u00a0 Heavan knows how the c-section women cope.\u00a0 And goodness knows I saw a lot of c-sections.\u00a0 For a modern hospital, with natural birthing facilities, I was shocked at the number of women I saw recovering from them.\u00a0 Perhaps it just feels that there are more of them as they stay in for longer but still, the high number did not reflect well on the skill of their midwives.<\/p>\n

I noticed this immediately after the birth when they offered me drugs to “shrink my womb and quell the bleeding” (er, doesn’t that just happen anyway??)\u00a0I asked about it and they said “oh well you know after a long labour its often very necessary.\u00a0 I blinked at the midwife in surprise – has she not been paying attention? I had only been in there for about 45 minutes! (in fact the friends we were staying with were in total shock when we called them, saying that they hadn’t even managed to complete one laundry cycle in the time it took me to give birth…) I explained to them that after a natural birth, I didn’t feel the need to spoil things with unnecessary drugs.\u00a0 They also gave all sorts of things to the baby (after promising he would only be gone for a few minutes) some of which were probably not necessary but I hadn’t had a chance to do research on this so I let them get on with this.\u00a0 They are supposed to be at the forefront of medical science here after all.<\/p>\n

There was however, one lovely midwife named Hila who actually apologised to me afterwards\u00a0for trying to change my birthing position, saying she really wanted to help.\u00a0 I thought that was very sweet, and there was a nice english speaking nurse who apologised for the confusion re: taking the baby away and helped me translate what the others were telling me to do.\u00a0 This was especially handy as one of the nurses GAVE MY CHILD FORMULA WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!! I kid you not.\u00a0 After them harrassing me I agreed to give him one tiny boost as he was small and yellow even though I knew he would be fine without it, but the nurse told me I would never get out of there if i didn’t…. then I asked a nurse to take him to the nursery during the night for his jaundice test as I was feeling a bit dizzy giving her strict instructions NOT to give him a bottle.\u00a0 But when I got there it was too late, they had given him a big dose.\u00a0 I screamed at the nurse and ran down the corridor with the cot in tears.\u00a0 I couldn’t believe the betrayal of trust there.\u00a0 Of course the formula knocked him out for hours so I couldn’t feed him which was very uncomfortable.\u00a0 I gave them hell for that and the doctor told me he had reprimanded her.\u00a0 I should bloody think so.<\/p>\n

I could not believe the number of newborns\u00a0on formula and sucking dummies.\u00a0 Nor the hilarious policy that the babies had to be wheeled around in cots (they are worried you might faint when you carry them about which is kind of understandable but not so relaxing to hear these trolleys trailing up an down the corridors day and night).\u00a0\u00a0They also wake you up in the middle of the night if your baby is found (shock! Horror) in your bed (can’t they just quietly put it in the cot and let you sleep, like in Watford General?)\u00a0and to take your temperature and blood pressure.\u00a0 Apparantly they don’t see the need for new nursing mothers to get some sleep.\u00a0 At one point I woke up\u00a0in the middle and gasped loudly in horror at the ghostly apparation that appeared before me.\u00a0 Turned out to be arab midwife telling me to put baby back in his cot.\u00a0 Somebody had had the bright idea of giving her a matching headcovering for her white uniform and being the middle of the night I assumed she was the ghost of\u00a0a previous nurse.<\/p>\n

Most upsettingly, the nurses didn’t seem to understand anything about the basic mechanics of\u00a0breastfeeding nor bonding with ones baby.\u00a0 The funniest was a nurse who came to check on me on shabbat afternoon.\u00a0 I had been nursing the baby who passed out on me, so I left him snuggled on my lap whilst I read my book.\u00a0 The conversation went something like this:<\/p>\n

“Why are you holding your baby?”<\/p>\n

(wasn’t sure how to answer this one.\u00a0 So gave her what I hope was an incredulous look and said:) “Because he is my new baby”<\/p>\n

“Shouldn’t he be in his cot?”<\/p>\n

“Er, no, he is very cosy on me”<\/p>\n

“But his neck looks awkward”<\/p>\n

“I think he was probably more squished up in the womb.”<\/p>\n

Sigh.\u00a0 I can’t believe in 2010 a nurse would still believe that a baby is better off in a cot than on his mother!!!<\/p>\n

I hoped shabbat there would be relaxing, what with it being a religious hospital, but all that meant that there were billions of people around as it was the weekend.\u00a0I shared a balcony with the next room and on shabbat afternoon I had 2 arab men sitting outside my window with a full view of my hospital bed.\u00a0 That wasn’t fun.\u00a0 On sunday I had to tell one to stop smoking!! For goodness sake.\u00a0 They were pretty militant about visiting hours so I guess they used the balcony as a hiding place.\u00a0 On my final day there (I discharged myself in the end as I felt I could do more for the baby at home than they could with their monitoring) a lady was wheeled into my room following what I presume was a c-section.\u00a0 Her russian husband and parents were quietly taking care of her when all of a sudden a tall man in a uniform and tattos stormed in:<\/p>\n

“Mishtarah!” (police) “You need to leave now!” (directed at tiny russian new grandma sitting by daughters bedside)<\/p>\n

Oh my gosh! I think.\u00a0 This must be a drug raid! Perhaps she is storing drugs in her daughters labour bag! Wow!)<\/p>\n

“But\u00a0I am her mother” the woman pleads.\u00a0 “I am taking care of her”<\/p>\n

“NO! YOU MUST LEAVE!”<\/p>\n

They were kicking her out as it was 2pm, and there are no guests between 2 and 4.\u00a0 I could not believe the way they treated the poor woman.\u00a0 They also tried to hustle us out even though were were clearly packing up, and the nurses were pushing past us trying to make up the bed even though we tried to explain that it would be easier if they let me, my husband, my sons buggy, the car seat and the new babies cot exit <\/em>the room first.\u00a0 But they didn’t get it.\u00a0\u00a0 Most of them were really miserable and moody, and the only cheerful staff I saw there were the cleaning ladies, who probably enjoyed this part of their rounds the most, as it was a brand new wing with lots of cute new babies.<\/p>\n

Anyway, here are a few tips to anyone planning to give birth un Ziv hospital:<\/p>\n

1) bring your own herbal tea bags.\u00a0<\/p>\n

2) Get a window bed.\u00a0 Or grab one as soon as its free.<\/p>\n

3) Press the red button if you want something, don’t go to the nurses station.\u00a0 They are more confident in droves.<\/p>\n

4) Avoid avoid avoid russian nurses.\u00a0 Racist but necessary.<\/p>\n

5) Ignore the doctors.\u00a0 Ok, maybe that’s a bit harsh but take what they say, imagine you live in a mudhut in Africa,\u00a0 and ask yourself, “is it really <\/em>necessary?”<\/p>\n

6) Be very direct about your requirements.\u00a0 If your hebrew isn’t 100% ask an Israeli to tell them or seach for the one english-speaking midwife\/nurse\/doctor.<\/p>\n

7) Have a birthing plan and stick to it (within reason).\u00a0 Shout if necessary.\u00a0 Or do as I did and pretend you don’t understand them when they tell you to lie on your back.<\/p>\n

8) Say no to drugs.\u00a0 Seriously, I have never seen people so willing to hand out drugs.\u00a0 It’s worse than Kings Cross.<\/p>\n

9) If you have an arab room mate, asked to be moved.\u00a0 Again this is not a racist thing but their families do come to visit in packs and you will feel like you are in a scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding when all you want is to relax with your new baby.<\/p>\n

10) Learn to love schnitzel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Israel is a developed country you know!) 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