Husband finally saw it. Came running out of the kitchen waving his arms and shrieking and Then I Knew. My worst suspicions confirmed. For weeks I have been trying to ignore The Signs. Rustlings. [well, perhaps its just the hamsters, or more recently Hamster. As Thing 2 is no longer with us]. Strange sounds when I enter the kitchen [just the building works nextdoor]. Parties in our loft at night [some sweet pigeons or owls perhaps]. Then the incident of the crumbling olive oil lid [down the pan – 1 thankfully nearly empty – tin of organic olive oil] and then today small brown THINGS in my kitchen [dried up banana or rice perhaps?] and little black THINGS in JOJOS BED!!! ok so maybe its a tiny little innocent field mouse…. I can just about live with that so I call the landlord and he promises to call pest control and offers me a trap meanwhile. “I can’t use a trap” – I tell him, thinking of a butchered mouse on a piece of wood. I don’t want to see it! I want him to eat some poison and go somewhere else to die. Far away from here thank you very much.<\/p>\n
Then tonight Husband enters the quiet kitchen after kiddy bedtime and saw the bugger. Almost a foot long. Grey. Jumping down FROM MY FRUIT BOWL. Oh dear god. <\/p>\n
Why do these things only happen to us???<\/p>\n
HUsband posted our plight on facebook and all anyone cares about is the F*cking rat. I mean who cares? We are kind to animals. When I rescue friends from spiders, I fling them outside. We have a dog and a hamster who we are very kind to. I refrain from shechting the local cats, and believe me its tempting. But this is not some cute innocent mammal. This is a RAT! They brought BUBONIC PLAGUE into Europe! To all those who posted on facebook that we should use a humane trap, we will be sending you are findings in the post. Enjoy.<\/p>\n
Earlier I reminded our landlord that we had uninvited guests living in our loft [no idea what they are, but presumably something small and furry] and last night Husband spent the evening cleaning out our sink cupboard in the kitchen. He even tried lighting a little fire near the holes in the wall in an attempt to smoke the bugger out. Anyway just before this incident, when I thought our furry friend was a sweet little mouse, Landlord presented us with a special humane trap, the rat goes in eats the [bloody expensive parmesan] cheese and the door closes. Voila. OK, I can agree to that.<\/p>\n
I just called him, in hysterics, to let him know that the creature is not a mouse, but in fact a hideously big rat and he has to help us NOW and he laughed at me and said we could leave it outside and he would dispose of it. [Since he is a builder out in the sticks, I imagine he has to deal with all manner of wildlife….] More concerningly, WHY DOES HE HAVE SUCH AN ENORMOUS TRAP TO HAND????<\/p>\n
Remember Fawlty Towers?
\n“Rat Anyone?”<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, here we are. Sitting, trapped in our bedroom. Scared to make a sound in case we scare it off. It’s like living a real episode of Tom & Jerry. I have already told Husband he is not aloud to go to work and leave me alone with the bloody thing. Absolutely not. Meanwhile my sympathies are with Thing 1 [our 1 remaining living hamster] who probably has to suffer all manner of taunts and teasing from said rat running past its cage “Ha ha! look at you! Trapped in a little box living off corn and lettuce! I get to eat whatever I want!”<\/p>\n
Husband and I keep making rat faces at each other in an attempt to lighten the tense atmosphere.<\/p>\n
The rat is not coming. Does it know that we have put out a trap??? Can it sense the change?<\/p>\n
Or as I said to Husband;<\/p>\n
Maybe it smells a rat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Husband finally saw it. Came running out of the kitchen waving his arms and shrieking and Then I Knew. My worst suspicions confirmed. For weeks I have been trying to ignore The Signs. Rustlings. [well, perhaps its just the hamsters, or more recently Hamster. As Thing 2 is no longer with us]. Strange sounds when … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8889,"featured_media":1376,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1201","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aliyah"],"yoast_head":"\n