To give junk. Or not to give junk?

Please tell me I am not the only mum in this dilemma.

I am continually surprised by the level of junk dishing-out in this country, but so far there has always been a reason. It’s a birthday, Its chanuka, its purim, its shabbat, its the end of the year…. You know they always have a reason to eat sugar. (The line about Fun-Guy- Bobby-the-alcholic in Friends springs to mind “It’s pancake day!”)

But still, if kids expect junk it’s hard to disappoint them. I have devised several yummy chocolate birthday cakes with reduced sugar for jojo, and so far I haven’t had any complaints. These cakes are far from healthy, their just a slightly improved version of the usual.

The challenge is not so much the kids. It’s the parents. They truly feel there is a precedent for junk, and they have to follow it. It’s a brave parents who asks their kid to set an example.

Faced with my 6 year old sons latest school project, “Matok Hashavuah” (sweet of the week), I was confused. I distinctly remember the teacher explaining at the first parents meeting that they have a tradition whereby each week one child brings in a little treat, of the healthy variety. I think she gave the example of date bars. (these can often be made to look like chocolate truffles but far healthier and I have had some that are scrumptious). So I was a little confused when Jojo reported that other kids were bringing in (ahem) chocolate bars. I decided I had better clarify (don’t want my son to be the kid with the wrong thing after all, and believe me a LOT gets lost in translation with these things. For example last week I almost sent Yaroni to Gan with a smoothie, when in fact he was supposed to bring in a juice press/lemon squeezer….)

So I emailed the teacher and she confirmed Yes, the Brief was to bring in something healthy and that fruit or something else simple would be just fine (I imagine she reasoned that at 32 weeks pregnant I wouldn’t want to be getting too busy in the kitchen. And she would be right). However, I am a baker, and Jojo likes to bake with me so I suggested a load of the typical bakes we do (lo sugar biscuits, apple muffins, granola bars, chocolate date squares… etc). And he chose sesame and honey biscuits (cookies to those from the US). These are delightful with a cup of tea or coffee, but actually pretty healthy so I make them often. My family devour them.

But bear in mind, last weeks offering was chocolate bars, so he was up against it.

So I sent him off with his tupperware box and prayed for a miracle.

He came back from school, pretty cheerful and I asked him how it went. “My teacher loved them!” he told me, “….and so did this friend and this friend, but d’you know mummy, some of the kids threw half of it in the bin!”

Oh dear. What does one do with a load of kids who only have a taste for cakes laden with sugar and white flour and vanillin??

I gave him a cuddle and told him we had done what we were supposed to do, and it’s not our fault if other people are not educated in the ways of healthy eating. We can only do what we do. He didn’t actually seem sad. Just surprised at the poor taste of his classmates.

Other new olim FROM THE US (!!) confirm that they too are shocked at the way sugar is handed out to kids here. And the amount of junk consumed in general. They warn me it only gets worse as the kids get older and the parties get bigger and expectations get worse….

Today there was a new little boy in Yaroni’s gan. Poor kid had to start 3 months into the year, which cannot have been easy for him. I felt bad for him and his parents, it’s scary walking into a room full of people like that. I tried to be welcoming but there is really no simple solution other than time. The parents seemed concerned, but the father was confident it would soon be ok.

Later today Yaroni got home and told me that the new boy had given out crembos in gan. (for the uninitiated, crembos are to chanuka what mince pies are to christmas. They only appear in the shops this time of year, but compared with a mince pie they are HORRIBLY unhealthy, a round of petite beurre biscuit, a mound of flavoured marshmallow all covered with chocolate. Yeuch!) I never eat them other than this year, where pregnancy seems to have increased my sweet tooth and I actually ate one or two. I couldn’t believe it – CREMBOS! They are a huge huge treat, not something to be casually consumed in a morning, but rather after a meal, next to the chanuka candles, with ceremony. I suddenly felt terribly sad that the only way this couple could think of to ease their sons transition into the new gan was to send him with a sugar fest, of the sort that could induce a diabetic coma in me were I to eat one on an empty stomach. Yaroni however, didn’t have one. Not, I might add, to please me, but because he genuinely doesn’t like them. He has a surprisingly sophisticated palette for a 5 year old.

But back to my original question… What is a parent to do? We want to do the right thing but nobody wants their kid to be a Billy No Mates because they have healthy birthday parties and don’t bring in junk to whatever event they are headed. What is a healthy balance?

And how on earth can we fight this battle when half the time the parents are no better than the kids?