The Fastest Mohel in the East

The only thing that can make shul on 2nd day Rosh Hashanah even longer is when you know the service will be followed by your sons brit.  I spent 2 and a half hours trying not to think of the awful wails and terrible screams that were to follow.  We had met the mohel the day before, he drove up in major traffic from Ramat Gan, especially to perform the mitzvah and arrived in Karmiel minutes before chag.  Apparently, despite having a population of 50,000, Karmiel is still a one-horse town as far as mohels are concerned.  Not one in the entire town.  This one was recommended by a friends brother [another mohel] , and when I spoke to him on the phone and explained that I had to discharge myself from the hospital as they were really concerned about the baby’s jaundice, he gave me 3 tasks to do.  This included a “segulah”, where he asked me to wash the baby’s hands.  In other words, do netilat yadayim but without the brachah.  Husband was a little sceptical about that one but I am happy to try anything, so we did.

The next day, I took him along to the doctor who said he wasn’t even yellow enough to merit another blood test! (I was relieved, the poor kid had 4 holes in his heel from all the bilirubin testing at the hospital.  I don’t get that place.  They are so keen to monitor conditions such as jaundice, until they get to the level where they require light therapy, it doesn’t occur to them that if they release the patient they may actually be able to access simple, natural, treatments.)  Anyway the treatments worked and it seems that this mohel is something of an expert when it comes to treating jaundice. 

When we met him he turned out to be one of those deeply holy sefardi men with lovely peyot, a humble manner and a reassuringly holy beard.  His wife acts as a kind of assisstant, helping him to change the dressings, and she turned out to be very kind too.  When it came to the dreaded moment, I heard a little cry and my friend said, “oh, he must have done it already.”  “No no” I said wisely, “he probably just took off his nappy and put some antiseptic on or something.  This is nothing.”  But it turned out I was wrong.  He was so quick, it was over in seconds.  I had never seen anything like it.  Barely a yelp from Little Ronnie.  The buildup had been a hundred times worse than the event.

Our community were absolutely wonderful.  They provided all our meals for yom tov, and for the seudat brit we basically crashed a communal luncheon, bringing along our own guests, and it turned out to be a riot.  I got rather tipsy on aged kiddush wine (well I hadn’t drunk for about 2 and half years so it didn’t take much) and there was a lot of banter and speeches from all the families, who were quite literally from all 4 corners of the earth.  It was great fun.  Little Ronnie read out his poem (ok, so he’s not that advanced, I read it out on his behalf) and the mohel spoke beautifully about the holiness of having a brit on Rosh Hashanah.  I was so happy with him, I had to restrain myself from giving him a huge hug.  Got husband to do it for me.  Anyway, if anyone out here needs a mohel, check out David Dadon.  He’s awesome.

Went along to tipat chalav nurse this morning.  Wanted to give her a roloking for having booked me an appointment so late in my pregnancy when I had told her in no uncertain terms my baby wouldn’t wait for her to get back from holiday.  The hospital had been in a real tiz as they knew nothing about me, and it made the birth quite stressful.  Whilst sitting outside the surgery watching all the other newborns taking their bottles (and people say this is the land flowing with milk and honey??) I waited outside her office for 25 minutes, til she came out, did a double take and asked how long I had been sitting there.  “Since 11” I reply.  She asked why I hadn’t gone in.  Er, coz  she had people running in and out of her office and I was waiting to be called??? It seems doctors come out and get you, with nurses you are supposed to barge in.  Sigh.  I will never ever understand the etiquette in this country.

Must go.  Husband is cleaning.  Must encourage this behaviour by commenting on his skill and brilliance.