Husband Hijacks Blog

You may have a remember a recent post suggested I get my own blog, unfortunately for Wife, due to sickness I have hijacked hers. Yes, she has the lurgy and flees so best I keep far away!

What to say, I had so much to say, but am now lost for words. I am acting housewife this afternoon and thankfully have one toddler sound asleep on the sofa following 2 rounds with The Gruffalo and a baby happily batting a bumble bee on the floor. SHIT THE BEANS!

I called our landlady this morning, I told her I had received a gas bill for August and September in her name. “Ok, so you have to pay it”, says landlady. We have only lived here since September. “Ok, ve vill split it, ow much is it?”, asks landlady. 229 shekels I suggest as if it is reasonable. “What? How can zis be? Zis is too much, I vill have to come and look.” LOOK AT WHAT, ITS GAS ITS GONE!

Wife has reappeared, I am hiding. I apparently forgot to put the meat away “on purpose”. The milk is on the wrong shelf, the kitchen is a total disaster and house is a tip. Why is Jojo in his best tracksuit bottoms and the baby in his best babygrow? (Um, cause I want my sons to be trendy). Why have you eaten chocolate for lunch? Oh the life of a househusband!

I am regularly accused of “never finishing a job” and that also applies to this blog, so I have left the messy kitchen unfinished in an attempt to finish this blog posting.

Wife has a temperature of 38.5 so is now at the doctor, well actually she went to see the nurse who then referred her to the doctor! Weird system, but then again this country loves its bureaucracy. Please leave all messages of sympathy, regarding her being sick that is, below. Thanks.

Did I mention the hoops I had to jump through just to convert my driving licence? I had to visit an optician to get my Tofes Yarok (green form) and have an eye test (in the UK this is generally done by asking you to read a number plate from 20.5 metres in good daylight) – 60 shekels. Then I had to visit the doctor and have a medical or rather I just said there was nothing wrong with me (for this I did not make an appointment, I made like an Israeli, pushed in and walked into a random doctors office)  – free. Then I had to go to the Misrad HaRishui (office of motor vehicles) in Haifa (a schlep, 1 hour there, 1 hour back for 2.5 minutes of work) with two copies of the front and back of my UK driving licence to get my Tofes Yarok signed off. Then I went for 2 driving lessons and before the test I was required to go to the Post Office and wait in line for the priveledge of paying 65 shekels for who knows what! With the piece of paper stamped confirming payment I could now take my test. The test took 5 minutes and I had to wait till 4.30pm the same day (the test was at 9.30am) to find out if I had passed. Then I had to pay 600 shekels to my driving instructor for 2 lessons and the test. Once it had been confirmed I had passed I had to wait 2 days for my temporary licence which I had to go to the Post Office to get validated, this cost a further 260 shekels for 5 years. Anyways I now have a shiny new Israeli driving licence.

I must go, Jojo woke up.

Back to the Wife,