Diseases of the Holy Land

Before I made aliyah, I remember hearing about relatives in Israel who were suffering from terrible diseases. Things you just don’t get in the UK. Hepatitis, year long viruses, 2-week stomach bugs, and all sorts of nasty things. I remember thinking it was a bit strange, but I put it down to them being Pioneers. I assumed that Israel was an underdeveloped country. Perhaps they didn’t have vaccines here or decent doctors.

What I didn’t realise, was that Israel is, in fact perfectly advanced in medical care, if not one of the leading countries. What these families were suffering from was something more simple.

They all worked for Israeli firms, and they all had kids in gan.

What does this mean?

Quite simply, the (standard) rules of sick leave in this country are appalling. You don’t get paid in full if you take time off, unless its over 3 days and then you still need a doctors note. So if you have a minor virus/bug of some sort, you can’t take off a day or 2 to heal, rest, and de-germ yourself. Unless you can afford it, the standard approach seems to be to go to work, sit there watching the clock, make everyone else ill and then get home. And be ill for longer.

What a brilliant approach! As someone with a background in public health, this horrifies me. There is no trust. It is assumed that all illnesses are either severe or non-existent. Anyone requesting just a day or 2 off must be faking. The rules support the spread of germs and increased length of time of sickness. A 2-day virus turns into a 2-week one. Followed by fatigue. Or worse – a secondary infection. This would explain the abundance of these “diseases” I remember hearing about. The work regulations seem to be unable to see the Big Picture.

Then there is the gan issue. Since Jojo started, he has brought us home a different disease every week. Coughs, colds, tummy bugs… but unlike the locals, who have to contend with sick children, we also have to deal with being ill ourselves. The germs are as new to us as they are to him! After contracting a nasty 24-hour tummy bug (really not fun in pregnancy) I asked Jojo if he could be extra careful about washing his hands before he has his aruchat eser (morning snack at Gan). Here is how the conversation went:

Me: Jojo, do you always wash your hands before your aruchat eser?

Him: No mummy, I can’t.

Me: Why not?

Him: Because there are so many children at the sink. So I usually just go and get my bag.

Me: Oh dear god.

So now we know how we got the tummy bug (all 4 of us, struck down dramatically). Husband had to take a day off both for himself and again so that I could recover. We are suffering because my polite, British, angel of a boy does not have the audacity to push and shove other kids out of the way to get to the sink (he is very mindful about handwashing at home!) I spoke to his Ganenet and asked if whether in the absence of my son being a pushy Israeli, she could possibly watch out for him. This should help but it doesn’t change the fact that the place need a good clean. And they don’t have the time to do it, with 31 children to watch over in a small space.

Another belief enshrouded in me prior to aliyah was regarding the natives and their dental hygiene. I remember being informed that dental care is very expensive in Israel, a lot of people can’t afford it, and that’s why Israelis all have bad teeth. There is truth in this – kids don’t get the care (until age 18) which is freely available in the UK. And pregnant women get nothing either (a real bummer – first trimesters can really wreck your teeth and you would think a country with a high birth rate would be more switched on to that). If you are on a health care plan above basic you are entitled to more but this rules out the majority of the country.

The thing is, it’s not just the dental care. It’s the bloody sweets (candies). In all my life I have never, ever seen such an abundance of sweets, nor children who seem capable of hoovering up such large quantities. I am still recovering from yesterdays shul barmitzva. After the usual manic sweet throwing & grabbing ritual (total atmosphere killer if you ask me but anyhow) there was the children’s tefillah group (which we like) and one little girl had a birthday so all the kids there got cake too. As if that were not exciting enough, after shul was a kiddush (more cakes and biscuits and partially hydrogenated god knows what) and before the kiddush EVERY CHILD (even the teeny ones) was handed a GINORMOUS bag of sweeties. Barely any chocolate or anything that you could actually call food, just coloured chewy crap and sherbet powders and to be honest I couldn’t bear to look so I can’t give you more detail. In short, it was a dentists worst nightmare. The whole thing made me nauseous. I am not sure if it was the sight of the sweets or these poor defenceless children being given bagfuls of this stuff. I kept Jojo very close to me so he didn’t go near the women with the bags but he did get offered stuff by other children. He refused it. I have no idea why – perhaps it is because he knows I don’t allow it, or maybe he just doesn’t think it looks like food (thank god)! The thing is, I am still concerned. My shabbat guest asked why I was worried, since my kids were clearly not into it. But how long until their curiosity peaks? How long til some other savta gives them a bag of crap and I am unavailable to supervise? 1 month? 1 year??? Its a hard battle for a parent to fight when the culture is so blasé about it. I am not talking a little choccy bar and a packet of sweets. I am talking HUMONGOUS amounts here.

Perhaps the philosophy amongst parents (assuming they have even analysed this much) is that their children will learn their own self-control. There is something to this. Some kids given cigarettes at an early age are turned off them. I remember over-dosing on ice-cream at an aunts house and throwing up. I never did that again. Perhaps these parents have decided to let the kids fight the battle. Unfortunately its not working, the kids are not saying “Ima, I have had enough, please take these home and I will have some next shabbat”. It’s more of a case of building up resistance. The kids learn to tolerate it (sadly their teeth don’t). I did see a few complaining of stomach aches (hardly surprising) but most seemed to think it the most normal thing.

I have a memory of being a little girl – around 6, maybe 8 – and receiving something similar on simchat torah in my shul. A paper bag with a brown and white pattern on it. I remember it having a few little boiled sweets, a wafer or something, and some bright spark had added a FULL SIZE snickers bar. This was unbelievable to me. I had only ever seen the fun-sized one. I remember unwrapping that snickers bar excitedly, and steadily working my way through it. I got about half way before I decided I would have to put it away for later. I put this down to 2 things: 1) Not having a hugely sweet tooth as we had only limited exposure to such things. 2) Being given the opportunity to exercise my own self-control – we had a Chocolate Box at home which was not carefully policed. I remember my siblings and I taking a piece or 2 of Cadburys after a meal, and moving on with our lives.

Not so my friends. I had friends who grew up with Chocolate Rules. Only on shabbat (Religious Parents). Never, unless someone else gives it to you (Dieting parents). Only for good behaviour (Control-freak Parents). Etc. These might sound like a good plan but consider this – when these friends turned up at my house and saw – Behold – The Chocolate Box. They could not control themselves. “How do you do it?” They would ask me. “Don’t you just eat it all day?”

“Er no.” (Well not until I started having to deal with boyfriend breakups anyhow.)

So I suppose kids should be given some level of autonomy, to learn their own limits. But handing them a huge bag of evil sugary coloured stuff screams cruelty to me.

Aside from the basic health issue. There is a social issue. I know that celeb vegan mum Mayim Bialik has struggled with this one – how to stop her kids hankering after non-vegan birthday cake is probably her toughest challenge – but there is also the issue of losing friends. Will anyone want to be friendly with the kid who doesn’t have sweeties at his birthday party?

Sigh.

I suppose I shall just have to await the day when he comes home from high school, and happily tells me he has managed to pull the prettiest girl in school, since he will possibly be the last remaining boy with decent teeth.